How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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