So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have aggressive nipples.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
