Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
