Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
