it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
