Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
