community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
