i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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