I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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