Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
