Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
