3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
