I accidentally had phone sex last night
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
