We're facebook friends in real life
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
