I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
