Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
