I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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