A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
