I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
