Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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