Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
