maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
