a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
