Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
