Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
