Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
