yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
