I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
