mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
