so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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