No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
