I don't think brook has ever known best
I understand Curling. That high.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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