just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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