I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
