I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
