Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
