Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
