dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
