Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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