is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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