ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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