So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
