We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
