he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Your penis caused this!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
