Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
