Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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