I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
