I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
two words...techno handjob
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
