gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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