is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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