he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
